Sponsorship Available!!!

Obviously, because of my Elvis-like fame, you all know I will be appearing on the Howard Stern Show on November 3rd 2008. This could be your chance to make billions and billions of dollars!! Maybe even trillions....
"How?" you ask, like a jackass. I respond with "Hey, idiot. Do you not realize the incredibly ferocious marketing potential of The Howard Stern Show? No? Well, then. Have I got some news for you, asshole."
I am offering the chance for you, a jackass, to have your company's logo tattooed on my forehead. Now, I know at this point that you have already spilled a little pre-cum. But wait!!! There's more!!!
How much would you be willing to pay for something as profitable and as cool as this, an offer that easily compares to the badassedness of my douche cam? Oops, I mean web cam? Fifty Billion? Sixty Billion? No! Only a measly Thirty Five Billion!!!

A plug on Howard's show is worth 5 times that! I will even throw in a 5 min phone call, or I will leave a message on your answering machine (one or the other, no exceptions!).
You must be thinking that this offer is just too good to be true. Well, it is and it isn't. You see, I am also going to need to sever your leg. Far above the knee, preferably the entire leg. I plan to use the proceeds of this scam, errr, offer to have your detached limb sewed to my chest so I can literally kick peoples assess when they piss me off (Artie). I have a friend from Tijuana who has probably hacked off and reattached limbs for fun a few times, and he is cheap so he will be preforming the operation (no exceptions!)
If you arent a complete retard, click HERE for more information and to go to the ordering page.
Note: Only Caucasian legs will be accepted as it would look odd if the leg protruding from my chest was black or something. If someone of another race can somehow get ahold of a fresh white leg, that will be ok.

Bye For Now!