The truth about the "balloons" incident

Ok. This has been weighing heavy on my mind as of late. I want to reveal to everyone reading my official blog the real reason I refused to fly with balloons ... Birds. Need I say more?
Of course I do. Most people that view my webcam or enter my chat room are moronic, so why should I think any different about you, oh jackassian reader?
Now I shall explain. Birds have sharp beaks capable of puncturing simple rubber, jackasses. If I were flying high, and some cock-eyed pelican came blundering through my air space at a sufficient speed, I could end up looking like a haggard hot-pocket some kid dropped on the sidewalk.

Looks like it's one more for the guy in the chair.
Additionally, a bird once dropped me on a rock.
This is the reason I have such a strange speech, pattern.
To sum it all up, jew Howard is a fat ass for trying to make me fly with balloons. Make the fat ass Artie tie a couple of hot air balloons to his neck and see if he can "fly with balloons", jackasses.
Robin is also ballooning up again, cackling bitch.

Bye for now! :)